Saturday, November 28, 2009

So thankful for you!

One night before bedtime I found myself thinking of Jennifer. I was wishing I had one last chance to say things to her that I would have liked to have said. I was missing her and wishing I could have a little sign that she was still there. The next morning as I was taking out our Thanksgiving decorations I found a Thanksgiving card from Jennifer and Jeffrey from 2000. Jennifer always added a note in her own handwriting. In this card she wrote something referring to what we had previously talked about. She said, "Jane never doubt those sweet feelings. You were so right and I had no doubt - you have always been inspired." Then she added in another color of pen, "Love you guys!!" even though she had already written "Much love" at the bottom of the card. That reminded me to never doubt the sweet feelings of love she expressed to me. She is still there and as Elder Richard G. Scott said, "only know that they (our loved ones who have died) are there and love you and care about you." I am so thankful for the richness and color she added to my life - she made my world more beautiful and meaningful by her friendship and love.

Saturday, October 17, 2009


HALLOWEEN 2007




It has been two years this month since I went to Little Rock and visited with Jennifer, Jeffrey and Aidan. I had seen them 17 months before when they came to Washington for Heather's wedding. I had decided that Jennifer's friendship was too precious and fun to let more than 1 1/2 yrs or so go by without getting together. Even if it meant flying across the country. Little did I know that would be the last time I saw her alive.


I was getting out our Halloween decorations a couple weeks ago and I pulled out some of the decorations I bought when Jennifer and I went to the Garden Center. Jennifer loved to decorate for holidays, parties and entertaining! She would go all out. For each holiday I have something from her whether it's a card, decoration, or homemade bracelet she has sent over the years. It's like finding treasures when I open the boxes of holiday decorations! It meant so much to know she was thinking of me and she took the time to show it.


Aidan was into dressing up like Spider Man when I visited in October 2007. It was a couple weeks before Halloween, but he wore the Spider Man PJ's all the time anyway - he was really into everything Spider Man at that age! I've included this cute photo that Jennifer took of us.


Holidays (anytime!) are a great time to make happy memories with family, friends and loved ones. We never know when it might be the last time to be together. I'm so glad that I saw Jennifer two years ago - I have many happy memories of our time together!! Those memories fill my heart with joy even though I miss her.

Monday, September 14, 2009

7 months

It has been 7 months since Jennifer passed away and I still feel a sense of sorrow. Summer has passed and soon the holiday season will be here without Jennifer for the first time. I know it is hardest for Jeff and Aidan as they struggle through this first year without her on this earth.

I think a lot of us did not realize how much pain she was in constantly. She was always concerned more about other people. That just makes her giving spirit that much more Christlike because she did not "wallow" in her own problems.

I have found comfort in reminding myself that "she knows"! She does not walk by faith anymore like we do, but "she knows" all the things of God that we hope to know and see oneday. How exciting is that?! She has seen her parents and family and knows her ancestors. She knows what her mission on earth was and that it is completed. She knows her new mission in Paradise and what the eternities hold. She was sealed on earth to Jeff and Aidan and knows and understands how they will be a family forever. She knows and has felt God's mercy and Jesus love for her. She knows perfect peace, freedom from pain, and joy beyond measure.

Jennifer has her eternal eyesight while we still only have our earthly vision. Joseph F. Smith said, " Beyond the veil that separates us from the spirit world, surely those who have passed beyond, can see more clearly through the veil back here to us than it is possible for us to see to them from our sphere of action. I believe we move and have our being in the presence of heavenly messengers and of heavenly beings. We are not separate from them...We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors... who have preceded us into the spirit world... They know us better than we know them. I claim that we live in their presence , they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever."

Take comfort that Jennifer knows, that she still loves us, and that she can be an example of faith that we can follow.

Friday, August 14, 2009

One kindness at a time

Time goes by so fast and just keeps marching along. Today it has been 6 months since Jennifer passed away.
This week I wish I could have shared with Jennifer that we got a new doggie. I know she would have been excited for us since her doggies were also like her children. She would have been excited, asked me questions and asked what my kids thought about their new dog. I can hear her happy, cheerful voice in my head.
Jennifer will never be famous, known by the media, or have a book written about her, but to those who knew her she was just as important. It was by her small, consistent acts of caring to us individually that made the difference in all our lives. One phone call, one birthday card, one hug, one recipe, one listening ear, one encouragment, one e-mail, one question, one smile at a time!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Happy Birthday Jennifer!

Dear Jennifer,
With your birthday coming up on July 11th - I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. I never dreamed that you wouldn't be here to celebrate turning 49 years old this year. Here is what is written on the card that I picked out for you about 9 months ago:
"There's something about an old friend...
Someone who's known you through so many phases of your life...
Someone who's been there for you and loves you like a sister...
There's something about an old friend who holds a place in your heart that no new friend could ever quite replace.
Happy Birthday dear friend."

I couldn't have said it any better than this card except to add you will always hold a place in my heart.

Much love always my dear friend,
Janey

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Like seeds in the wind...

I wish I could remember the author of this poem, but I can't remember her name. Actually it is only the ending of the poem, but it is the part I like so well. Read it carefully and slowly to let the meaning sink into your soul:

"I came here with nothing,
Yet I leave with everything.
No lesson more lasting than this simple truth;
Life is not about living; it is about loving.

So when I'm gone and all that's left of me is love,
Give it away!
So that the seed that began as my love for you
Continues to blossom throughout time,
Through me to you and onto the next,
like seeds in the wind...

And in this way, I shall live forever."

Jennifer I miss you. I miss you so much! You learned this lesson - help me to learn it too.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mothers Day

I couldn't help but think of Jennifer today... Even before Jenn and Jeff had Aidan she was a Mother. To her family and friends she was a nurturer. She always had a listening ear, a thoughtful gift, good advice, and a genuine concern for others. She had a way of understanding the youth and always made her home a welcome place for them.
Still I remember that Mothers Day was often hard for her without having a child of her own. She waited so long to be a Mother. Then she and Jeff were blessed with Aidan! She cherished every moment with him as a baby and growing up. She loved to make sure he looked "spit spot" that his hair was combed and styled. As a Mother in Zion she made sure to teach him the gospel and to keep the commandments. She taught him to love nature and animals. With Jennifer and Jeffrey being so outgoing and social... Aidan was too. She taught him to enjoy good food - I was always amazed at the things he would eat that many kids would never eat. She taught him to be kind and caring to others just like she was.
I know she would want us to remind Aidan of how much she loved him here on earth. "Aidan although you can't see her she loves you - forever. Her heart is still full of love for YOU! She still wants the same happiness and blessings for you and she will always be smiling down on you from heaven."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A joyous reunion someday!


It has only been two months since Jennifer passed on yet all of our lives have changed without her here!

I thought about her a lot last weekend because it was Easter. I felt so grateful to know that we will meet up again because of the resurrection and atonement of Christ.

The resurrection and hope of eternal life is not just a nice story, it is not just a tradition handed down by our parents, it is not just something to think about when we die. It is a promise from Heavenly Father (he is not able lie) if we make right choices in this life and repent when we mess up.

I also heard a quote from Dallin H. Oaks last Sunday. He said "...we do not lose our identity when we die." That makes sense to me! I think each one of us has distinct talents and personality that is ours for the eternities - just imagine what Jennifer must be up to right now?!

I know that if she is teaching, or serving, or being a missionary, or sewing, (too bad we can't eat or she would be cooking up something yummy), or hugging, or listening she is doing it with love and blessing the lives of other spirits around her.

As hard and sad as it sometimes still is (and will be)without Jennifer here - I know that she lives on and still loves each one of us. Love never dies!


Janey

Friday, March 27, 2009

Do you still think of Jennifer?

Yesterday Leslie (my 10 yr. old daughter) asked me, "Do you still think of Jennifer?" I told her "I think of Jennifer every day!"
I could have added:
When I want to call her and tell her my frustrations and compare parenting notes.
When I have some good news I want to share with her.
When I go shopping and I see a card or cute something I would normally buy her.
When I go shopping and I see things that say "best friend" - I need to look away quickly or I will tear up.
When I see my lilacs budding and I wonder what is blossoming in her yard.
When I wish I could ask her advice about a tough decision I am trying to make.
When I see the cute card she sent me in 2006 and has been on my desk ever since.
When I think of Aidan and wish he could feel his Mommy's hugs.
When I go back a few pages in my e-mail and there are e-mails from her.
When we pray for Jeff and Aidan every day.
When I see the birthday card I bought her a few months ago because it was perfect for her and now I don't know where to send it.
When I put on Escada Rockin Rio (I love it!) that she gave me for my birthday a year or two ago.
When I hope that she will see my new grandson who will be born anyday.

There are just too many ways that I think of Jennifer and I always will! I hope each of us will cherish the memories we have of her.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Jennifer's Green Thumb

I saw my little shamrocks coming up the other day. They reminded me of a funny Jennifer experience: Jennifer loved to garden and grow things. When I visited Jenn and Jeff in Raleigh years ago I admired some of her plants including some mint she grew. It was actually pineapple mint and smelled really nice. So in her usual Jennifer style she generously gave me some cuttings to take home. We wrapped them in very wet papertowels and put a plastic bag around them. I put this in my carry-on bag so they wouldn't get smashed and would make it home to Washington OK.
Needless to say as I went through Security they pulled me aside. They asked me to take out the plant. They looked at it, felt it, and smelled it all the while observing me. It was then I realized they probably thought it was marijuna or an illegal plant! I forthrightly told them it was pinneapple mint, but I didn't say anything else. I was sent on my way, but couldn't help laughing inside. The mint made it home but eventually died for some reason or other (I don't have a green thumb).
The shamrocks are another story! Jennifer sent a snip of shamrocks home with me on my last visit to Little Rock in October 2007. Yup the shamrocks made it through Security and they are growing strong in a little planter on my back porch! I remember last year about this time I remarked to Jennifer how great they were growing. They are another sweet reminder of the little things she liked to do to make others happy.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Smelling good!

Anyone that knows Jennifer knows the girl liked to smell good!! I think she enjoyed smelling the wonderful scents on herself more than she cared about others thinking she smelled good. Whenever I'd visit her she would have a new perfume or body spray she wanted me to try.
I hate to admit it but, I have only bought one or two perfumes in the last 15 years. It's not something my husband would give me - he wouldn't have a clue! Although I do use body sprays occasionally (don't worry I always use deodorant). The thing is I never use the perfume up... I figure they're so expensive I'd better save them for special occasions.
Not Jennifer she used her perfumes everyday and she used them up! It was how she lived her life. I think for her everyday was a special occasion because she found joy in the little things even if it was just a spritz of perfume. I love her for that! She showed me the way so many, many times.
I am determined to start using my perfume regularly and every time I do I will think of you Jennifer. I love you!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

JENNIFER LEE WELLING ROE

Dear Family and Friends of Jennifer Lee Welling Roe,
I hope this will be a place where we can all share our memories, moments, and thoughts of Jennifer. I hope that all who know her can find a place to share and heal. I think that she would want that for us. I also hope that by sharing our memories we can leave a gift of Jennifer for Aidan. She gave so many gifts to each one of us, but the most precious was her deep caring and love. I know that I can never return a particle of what she gave to me, but I also know that she will live on through each of us. She was an amazing women! There will never be another Jennifer Lee Welling Roe - may she rest in joy and peace (and not cause Heavenly Father too much trouble!)

I will love you forever,
Janey Jane